Uncle.. How those words rankle in you mind when you are called exactly that.. I did that through out my life to anyone who looked 5 years older than me without discretion.. I thought it was the easiest thing to call someone without being rude and without having to go through the trouble of asking for names. I was mighty pleased with this arrangement until total I was at the receiving end.. Playing cricket with some guys 10 years younger than me,  thought I was just being my young self.. Until the batsman got out and looked back at me and single handedly made me feel 20 years older by saying; ‘Uncle you can bat now’. He said this without hesitation, without batting an eyelid.. My temporary limp and my 4 day old stubble did not help me either..Being just over 25 I thought I wouldn’t hear the word for at least 10 years.. And now it hit me.. Now I understand the relevance of the old Hair Dye AD wherein a middle aged man is agonizing over being called an Uncle (Uncle.. Uncle..  the echo went in the AD) because of a little grey hair.. The target segment must have connected with the AD and sent sales shooting.. Coz its difficult to handle being called Uncle by the PYT next door..

How am I gonna get out of this situation now? Cant look younger, cant turn back time, cant make the kids grow faster.. Hell, I was the youngest guy amongst my roomies and never felt old. I made them feel ancient even! I’ve nearly run out of options and resigned to the fact of being ‘Uncled’.. And then it struck me. Maybe there is a Win-win situation after all. I could hang out with people older than me and “Uncle” them every chance I get! But that would lead to another problem, as embarrassing as the previous one, that of being labeled the ‘kid’ (Bachhu) and resigning to a life of not being taken seriously ever L

 This is a ‘dream’ resignation letter a friend of mine has written in anticipation of resigning from her company… Makes good reading..:-)

Dear All

Time has moved and so must we!

It is with this pleasant thought that I would like to inform you that I have decided to move out of K-company and move into avenues which would give me more scope to learn and grow. In my brief stint at K-company, I have mentally degenerated till my brain has poured itself out of my ears and fallen to the ground like amoeba and people have walked all over it and squished and squashed it till it disappeared and merely blobs of it were left lying on the road for stray dogs to lick. I have as a result become brain- dead and incapable of thinking or behaving like any prudent person would.

K-company has however given me great things too. It gave me a chance to make great friends and interact with people with similar inclination and talents like mine, who have enriched my life and motivated me at every juncture. A rarity, I must say, cuz ‘Gems’ like me are indeed hard to find in this unscrupulous and lackadaisical world. I would specially like to thank Shamitha and Sid for this. With them I learnt what working hard truly means and how it always reaps results. They taught me the importance of maintaining excellent rapoort with all my colleagues( like Asha,Rajesh and Paddy) and to respect, follow and blossom under the leadership of eminent and prominent personalities like Mr. Murthi, Mr. Himesh and Mr. Sheyas ( fondly remembered as telco MT, hippo and bull dog). For this I shall always be grateful. More than that, I discovered with them every single gigantic, not so gigantic, quaint, shady( sometimes not so shady) hang-out in the city where we could fruitfully pass time brain-storming about our business ventures, discussing politics, the economy and sometimes matters of phenomenal importance. I am sure those places in years to come will be remembered as spots where the greatest inventions and business plans were discussed by the ‘three great Maestros’.

Last but not the least I would like to thank all the staff and managers of Kafeoke, Anokhee, Coffee world, Barista, Amethyst, Pepper and theosophical society for housing us there during all those afternoons where we would sprawl on their couches and hog on their food. Without those guys this year would not have been possible. They are the guys who made the difference and are the real Heroes. A big THANK YOU to them.

I know it must be really tough on K-company to let a star performer like me leave but sometimes you have to let your loved one’s go for their better good. I had come to K-company on a mission and I think I have succeeded in my target of a 30% fall in K-company share prices. I am sure you would understand when I say there are a lot more companies in the country where my valuable contribution is required . Quoting Robert frost “.. I have promises to keep , and miles to go before I can sleep”. I do, however, have one suggestion for the senior management of K-company. If you want K-company to progess as much as it has in the last few months, Gtalk should not be blocked and it would hinder ‘hidden’ Ajays, Shamithas and Sids from realizing their full potential and God would never forgive you for that. So let your conscience rise and help humanity. I thus conclude “ Unblock Gtalk, unblock roads to progress”

I thus bid adieu to all of you. Please take care of Ajay and Mohan for me.

I sincerely hope our association shall stand the tests of time.

Thank you all,

Frustrated soul

Best MT and Star Perfomer.

One of the most dreaded places to visit in the India is definitely the RTO ( Regional Transport Office). This is one place where you realize that all that talk about India being corrupt, is true. For an average Indian, who wants to do things the clean way ( no bribes, no influence , no nothing) this is a true test of your beliefs. Now I do not claim to be very honest and ethical, but yeah, I do have some standards. One of them being not bribing unless absolutely required. Going to the RTO without a tout or a driving school personnel accompanying you does make one feel out of place! You are asked ten extra questions on road signs, told to staple that extra pin in and to stand at all the counters and the grand finale would be when they tell you that you have failed. After such experiences for my bike license, I decided to get my car License done. I spoke to people, asking if I had to pay some ‘ speed money’ and the answer was always in the affirmative. I was disappointed and really felt the system just weighing me down.

I decided to get my Learner’s license and I failed the first time. I apparently did not know all the signs required for driving. Then I see these driving schools candidates walking past me and everyone passing without a question. So I promptly mug the sign chart and go for the test again. This time I’m asked all sorts of questions on road rules but I manage to pass with flying colours! I rejoice for a month and then again I’m left worrying about going to the RTO for my permanent license. I make up my mind to pay a thousand rupees to a tout and get the license hassle free. But at the RTO I have a change of heart and decide to take on the system. My first hurdle, getting myself enrolled for the test. The man there calmly tells me that there are too many applicants that day and I will have to come the next day. I ask him twice and he refuses. I go to the RTO commissioner and lament that I cannot take a leave and be told to come another day. The commissioner listens and signs my document and tells me to sit for the test the same day. A small battle won. Now I face the inspector. He asks me all the road signs again and I am flabbergasted, as I had already cleared the test. I still manage to answer and he tells me to get into the car and drive. He asks me only 1 question. What does your father do? I saw no relevance in his question but answered anyway. My father, who had accompanied me, started telling me how I will never get the license and that bribery is the only way. I nod and wait for the inspector to let me know my fate. My name is called; I walk in .The inspector looks up. He tells me to practice stopping on the road and that I did not do it properly. I give him that ‘ I know I’m gonna be failed’ look. Then he tells me that I have passed. I’m like, what?!!! And then jump up and shake his hand vigorously and thank him. And that’s how it ended. I told my dad who was outside, that I passed. He said that we saved a thousand bucks. I smiled to myself thinking that what was saved was my faith in the system. The inspector had just saved the entire system failing in my eyes, and through this blog I guess in the eyes of so many other ‘average Indians’.